Shitbeats about my soul mate (assuming we have souls).
2/26/2015
Right where I want you.
Daydreams of our first kiss,
I wonder how you’ll taste on that mountain.
How long will I wait?
I’m burning for your mystery,
For the blank spaces that make you
Light & shining in my mind.
It’s too bad they’ll get filled in heavy,
Dense with predictable detail.
It’s too bad I only like the beginnings of things.
For now, you are a beginning.
Filigree.
Gold leaf.
Pasted over who cares what iron.
3/21/2015
Nothing gold can stay.
All that we’re learning will become re-unknown,
Your smell, a stranger.
Your feel, your slow spiral, your shifting sunlight, gone.
Short is sweet.
I’ll think of you—or maybe not.
(There’s a strange part of me that loves so hard
And forgets so easily.)
I’ll think of you singing.
I’ll think of you laughing,
A sound that evokes
Empires, art for art’s sake, rolls of velvet, beating hearts, and big brass bells.
I don’t want this sun to fade.
I’m afraid of the coming night.
4/2/2015
I feel a start.
A rush of red heat to my ears & throat.
My vision taken over from the edges,
A golden sand, then darkness.
Make it stop.
Nothing is right.
If this isn’t death, give me death.
Sweat springs from skin and soaks the fabric sheath.
No control.
I make your lips into a swollen, vulgar brightness.
Their skin is cracked, your tongue always
Just inside the door.
Don’t speak,
I can’t watch.
Waiting for disaster because you’re perfect.
Craving disaster because
Perfect does not exist.
Can you be unblemished by this polluted world?
The edgy, bloodthirsty, the tearful, the grabbing hands,
The twin devils of want and pride?
I know I’m not.
4/29/2015
It’s not you that I love.
It’s the light sweetly reflecting on your skin.
Scattered beams of pearly softness invite my touch,
Bait for me but if anything, I’m the trap.
It’s not you that I love.
It’s the shift in the air that surrounds you,
A whorl of warmth, your dark animal smell.
It awakens the dark animal in me
And I can’t breathe enough, my chemical love.
It’s the shuddering, unbearable way that you feel,
The pressure of you, the friction of you,
I bend achingly towards it.
I exist for once,
I’m complete for once,
For an hour lying beside you.
You are the salt, I the sea.
With you on my lips,
I can taste life.
It’s not you that I love.
5/4/2015
My heart descends from the sky.
He lays his head with mine,
A puzzle of hard & soft, we are.
The only two humans out here, we are.
His animal beauty, the movements in his
Strong, young body and
Strong, old mind
Stir and create new depths.
Deep time, no time, this is the beginning.
Adam & Eve, we are.
Living & breathing, we are.
We draw from each other
Knowledge that together is greater than alone.
My love dives deep and
Draws ancient orbs of truth
From the grains of created significance.
His undertow revealing pearls & diamonds
Eve could never see.
shitbeatswordpresscom 