Falling in Love.

Shitbeats about my soul mate (assuming we have souls).

 

2/26/2015

Right where I want you.

Daydreams of our first kiss,

I wonder how you’ll taste on that mountain.

How long will I wait?

I’m burning for your mystery,

For the blank spaces that make you

Light & shining in my mind.

It’s too bad they’ll get filled in heavy,

Dense with predictable detail.

It’s too bad I only like the beginnings of things.

For now, you are a beginning.

Filigree.

Gold leaf.

Pasted over who cares what iron.

 

3/21/2015

Nothing gold can stay.

All that we’re learning will become re-unknown,

Your smell, a stranger.

Your feel, your slow spiral, your shifting sunlight, gone.

Short is sweet.

 

I’ll think of you—or maybe not.

(There’s a strange part of me that loves so hard

And forgets so easily.)

I’ll think of you singing.

I’ll think of you laughing,

A sound that evokes

Empires, art for art’s sake, rolls of velvet, beating hearts, and big brass bells.

 

I don’t want this sun to fade.

I’m afraid of the coming night.

 

4/2/2015

I feel a start.

A rush of red heat to my ears & throat.

My vision taken over from the edges,

A golden sand, then darkness.

 

Make it stop.

Nothing is right.

If this isn’t death, give me death.

Sweat springs from skin and soaks the fabric sheath.

No control.

 

I make your lips into a swollen, vulgar brightness.

Their skin is cracked, your tongue always

Just inside the door.

Don’t speak,

I can’t watch.

 

Waiting for disaster because you’re perfect.

Craving disaster because

Perfect does not exist.

Can you be unblemished by this polluted world?

The edgy, bloodthirsty, the tearful, the grabbing hands,

The twin devils of want and pride?

I know I’m not.

 

4/29/2015

It’s not you that I love.

It’s the light sweetly reflecting on your skin.

Scattered beams of pearly softness invite my touch,

Bait for me but if anything, I’m the trap.

 

It’s not you that I love.

It’s the shift in the air that surrounds you,

A whorl of warmth, your dark animal smell.

It awakens the dark animal in me

And I can’t breathe enough, my chemical love.

 

It’s the shuddering, unbearable way that you feel,

The pressure of you, the friction of you,

I bend achingly towards it.

I exist for once,

I’m complete for once,

For an hour lying beside you.

 

You are the salt, I the sea.

With you on my lips,

I can taste life.

It’s not you that I love.

 

5/4/2015

My heart descends from the sky.

He lays his head with mine,

A puzzle of hard & soft, we are.

The only two humans out here, we are.

His animal beauty, the movements in his

Strong, young body and

Strong, old mind

Stir and create new depths.

Deep time, no time, this is the beginning.

Adam & Eve, we are.

Living & breathing, we are.

 

We draw from each other

Knowledge that together is greater than alone.

My love dives deep and

Draws ancient orbs of truth

From the grains of created significance.

His undertow revealing pearls & diamonds

Eve could never see.

 

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