A shitbeat about an new relationship in my life where I feel at once so good and so bad. It’s an imbalance, it’s a lot of drug use, it’s sweaty and full of music.

I want you in the way

That I want the darkness.

To be blind but to vibrations, to touch.

I want you narcissistically,




I love you in the night

With pupils like

Big black moons, eclipsing.

Gone is the sun, sweet shadow.

Gone is existence, my yin.

I love you but I ought not.

Color me melancholy.


I feel you in that same silence

That swallows me up when

Sadness makes me slow.

I feel you gentle, insubstantial.

Breathing in your humid curls,

Wishing softly for change,

Almost still, almost drifting.


I love you in the way

I love shooting, sparking chemicals.

I crave your taste, even bitter,

For the rush to follow.

I know that you won’t make me better,

But I’ll hallucinate that I am.


I live in your wild laugh,

Gripping mania pulls us skyward,

The tumult & the highs.

We belong to the dark,

We are twin gravities;

Pulling the other,

Consuming the self.