HS: If you could go back in time and alter one decision, tell yourself one truth, prevent one mistake, what would you change?
CF: I have two answers…
First, this is obvious but I can’t identify…I see so much of myself in [these experiences]…source material to approach the world and I really enjoy my approach…I would go back tell myself and have my young self understand that what I see in the mirror is the opposite of reality…vision is colored so irreversibly…I appreciate the whole person, why would other people not look at me like that? Also, nobody fucking cares. It was so narcissistic in a way…I imagine that people are just staring at me, analyzing me…I’m a creepy person, I stare at people…I don’t do that.
HS: What is one change you would like to see in the future, in society, in your peer group?
CF: I would really…probably the best way to do this would be to reform K-12 education…Miss America answer, hahaha…I want there to be all emphasis placed on emotional well-being and conflict management, practicing active and creative information processing and response…I have a difficult time processing and responding to…I don’t perform well under pressure, I’m not witty—this part is hard—I am not elegant with language…I think I’m drawn to art-making as an active process…its not a conversation of words but of visual logic, and in a way I find empowering…I’m totally immersed all day in images that I cant make sense of…I can’t understand people around me…I ask people, “Do you do art?’ and they say, “Oh, I’m not good at it.” What does that mean? Using technical skill is such a small, unimportant part…it’s the process….my paintings look like nothing in the “real” world…I wish that other people had more spaces to do that, use creativity more appropriately…it’s an expansion of media awareness in a way…understanding advertising and the way it manipulates us….media articles are one sliver of reality…make your own voice, write, sculpt, just start a conversation…do something with that information…the most dangerous thing is when people don’t take the time or feel the need to analyze.
HS: In what physical space or setting do you feel the best? The safest?
CF: I feel that way the most in cafes…it depends but right now Victrola café on 15th ave is my favorite place in the world…it’s right next to my yoga studio which helps, of course…I love being in the company of people but it’s peaceful, being alone together, people coming in and out and in and out, people seeing friends, sad people, you never feel that pain of being alone.
NJ: What’s the most meaningful eye contact you remember?
CF: Almost a trite answer is the first time I was aware of being in love which was quite recent…I don’t think it’s novel but the feeling of seeing, it’s a vision with haptic sense, it touches you…you feel it on a physical level…that turning inside out, touching inside out…I fully believe if it’s not a shared feeling, it’s nothing at all…it’s comforting and safe…exciting…bottomless…and that’s even if you’re in love and it’s difficult…it’s not bliss, I wouldn’t describe it that way…it’s outside of a feeling, it’s a state.